How to make poi

Step 1: Drag 5 year old daughter to Asian market.

Step 2: Try to calm down her horror after you pass the meat department.

Step 3: Grab a large taro root from the produce department and head to the checkout.

Step 4: When you get home, bring large pot of water to a boil.

Step 5: Drop whole root into pot and set timer to boil for 40 minutes.

Step 6: Fall asleep on couch while reading iPhone.

Step 7: Wake up to find that pot has boiled over.

Step 8: Clean up mess.

Step 9: Take root out of water and let cool for 15 minutes.

Step 10: Remove the peel and cut into chunks (the root, not the peel).

Step 11: Mash, blend, whatever – just pulverize it. Add water as you go to get the right consistency.

Step 12: Taste.

Step 13: Throw in the trash because you realize that poi tastes like shit.